Archives for Divorce Resources

Can Child Support be Mediated?


The court always maintains jurisdiction to oversee child support, but there are many aspects that can be mediated.  This could range from setting an initial amount, agreeing to modification, or (in the case of arrearage) setting out the terms by which the amount overdue might be made up or even forgiven in part (if that is appropriate).  Once parties agree to the modified terms, this should be taken to the court for approval.  Because the mediated terms are uncontested, however, court action to seek ratification of the agreement will be  less expensive than a court battle.  The advantage of mediation is not just to save time and expense, however.  A key advantage of mediation is that it allows for better solutions.

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Need A Divorce but Cannot Afford an Attorney?

(Laws and resources for divorce vary from state to state.  This post is not intended as legal advice, and the resources listed here are specific to residents of South Carolina.  However, some general principles may apply. )



While paying a professional to help with your divorce is one first step, there’s more to the cost of divorce than just paying a lawyer.  


A.  Fairness is Important!

First of all, be forewarned.  Divorce is not free or cheap.  What’s worse, pennies saved now may cost pounds later.   The terms of your divorce may determine the future course of the rest of your lives.  For instance, if you fail to negotiate a fair property settlement, that may impact your ability to retire some day.  If both parents fail to protect their children from the repercussions of divorce, the dynamics of  your family may be impacted not only for your generation, but for future generations.  It’s important to get it right.  When you are strapped for cash, however, this can be a real challenge.   In this article, I hope to give struggling folks some ideas that will help keep pennies in the family pocket, but help you aim toward a fair result.   Read More

Model Standards of Practice for Family and Divorce Mediation

The following standards of practice have been adopted by the Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR), by the American Bar Association (ABA), and by the Association of Family Courts and Community Professionals (AFCC).   Adopted by these three organizations, they represent a broad consensus in the field.  This family and divorce mediation practice adheres to these standards.  Your mediator will be happy to discuss any of these standards with you: 

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Parenting through divorce

Sadly, the two of you have decided to split.  In the old days, the baby would have been split too, in a sense.  Divided between two warring households, children would be shuffled back and forth begrudgingly by parents who put them in the middle.   Fortunately, children of divorce are now adults.  They can now tell their story.   What these adult children say to parents divorcing today is, “Stop! Act like adults!”

The word now is COPARENTING.    When parents split up, they divorce each other but not their children.   Parents are expected to formulate a parenting plan which affirms and supports the parenting role of each.

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Mediation: The Future of Divorce?

According to Forrest Mosten, a Los Angeles mediator, family law specialist and the author of numerous books on mediation and collaborative divorce (click HERE for list), mediation is a new alternative to divorce litigation. “As people become disenchanted with our court systems, and as we become aware of the significant impact that a family breakup has on children, more people are turning to mediation.”

Mediation isn’t marriage counseling.  Although feelings about the marriage and the decision to divorce may be relevant and may be discussed during mediation, the goal of mediation is to reach an agreement — a separation or divorce agreement — that will help you, your ex, and your children (if any) adjust to the divorce and agree on how to resolve future issues together.

From “Finding Common Ground” by Diana Shepherd, published in Divorce Magazine and reprinted HERE.

For more information and resources about divorce mediation, see links on this website, HERE

Links to Divorce Resources


  • A slide show comparing divorce options, click HERE
  • An article about cost of litigated divorce, click HERE


  • My article about collaborative divorce, click HERE
  • Link to International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), click HERE


  • My short list, Advantages of Mediation, click HERE
  • My longer article about Mediation, click HERE
  • A video explaining about mediated divorce, click HERE
  • Divorce mediation checklist for issues and documents you will need, click HERE
  • Search for articles about divorce mediation on the excellent site, click HERE
  • Link to resources on web site of Association of Conflict Resolution (ACR), click HERE


  • Brochure about co-parenting after divorce, click HERE
  • Two articles about effect of high conflict divorce on children, click HERE or HERE
  • Internet resource for helping parents work together to develop a parenting plan:  UpToParents
  • Sixty-eight page resource for developing a parenting plan, published by State of Arizona, click HERE
  • Scheduling "wizard" for coordination of parenting issues such as schedules, school records, medical records, etc., click HERE


  • IRS Publication 504, guide to taxes for divorcing parties, click HERE
  • Documents you will need to change after divorce, click HERE
  • Do-It-Yourself Divorce: South Carolina forms for self represented litigants, click HERE


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